My Brain and My Mind

I was hoping to find time to update more regularly this year, but lo and behold, time has again come and gone. Today was the last day of neurology. Tomorrow, we have a review in the morning for several hours (oh, the joy of not having to get up before 6:30AM) and then the rest of the day off to study for our shelf exam, which will take place Friday morning.

It's a rite of passage of sorts, your first month or two as a third year - getting acquainted with life on the wards for the first time and finally beginning to apply learning from the first two years of school, in order to learn something about how to actually care for patients. How has it been for me? What's changed in the <4 weeks I've been on neurology at Elmhurst Hospital?

Not too much. I can now go into my next rotation (Ambulatory Care, in New Jersey at Overlook Hospital) with a little less trepidation and anxiety, but hardly any more knowledge or experience than I had going into neurology. Well, I guess that's not true. I have become fairly comfortable with the neurological exam, and I have learned a decent amount about strokes and seizures, which are probably the most important and prevalent neurological complaints most people will come in with. We'll see how useful all this proves next month and throughout the rest of the year.

But I guess that's the whole point of third year. To pick up these little skill sets here and there, one at a time. And hopefully by the time we approach graduation, we'll have developed enough competency to "do no harm" as we go into our residencies as freshly minted doctors. Getting up early to do a full day's work (sort of) and coming home each evening with the obligation to study even more has been, needless to say, a bit soul-killing. Dare I say, sad-making? Ha. It makes me realize how much I've been taking weekends and days off for granted, this past summer break and even the last two years, considering I never went to class.

At the same time, this exam on Friday is supposed to be quite tough, and I have yet to begin studying. I'm in the exact same mode of procrastination/denial that's gotten me into trouble so many times in the past. Hopefully I'll pass... and then it'll be the weekend... and then it'll be back to work next week, business as usual.

While nothing about this past month has been particularly inspiring, and many things have been, in fact, quite the opposite, I do have higher hopes for ambulatory care. I should be able to spend more time with patients, and not insignificantly, patients who aren't comatose or demented. It'll be nice getting away from the brain for a while and brushing up on all the other parts of the physical exam and history I've been forced to neglect since last spring.

But one thing at a time. There's a reason I'm updating at this moment, a reason I've been on Facebook for the last two hours, a reason I napped for several hours before that. There is something else I need to be doing. And that is studying. Using my brain.

It's too bad my mind is elsewhere.